Where To Make Friends
Part Two


How To Make Friends On The Internet?

Yesterday I forwarded the problem of making friends for middle-aged folks who had found themselves living in a new country, new city, in short, far from their birth nest.
Having traveled through a number of places of evident candidates for finding potential friends, I have peacefully arrived at the Internet.

Now, after having spent five years on the Internet, I may say that all Internet visitors are roughly divided onto two categories: those who show their faces names and addresses and the bigger part –who don’t do either of above mentioned.

They even don’t have names, just codes.

Anyway, to make friends at forums and newsgroups is real, provided you follow the rules. Some of them are:
1. Joint a discussion group, a forum or a newsletter.

2. In most of them you’ll be asked to tell about yourself. Do it.

3. Read carefully your fellow – writers’ mails.

4. Discover the writers working in the same or similar areas and contact them.

5. For a considerate reader, the character of their reply will display a lot. If you get a polite respond, bordering with the answer of auto responder, most probably this person just tries to be polite.

6. Important is also, if your new correspondent uses her Christian name or a nickname, weather communicates openly or strives to avoid naming herself.

7. Try to guess on the tone of a message weather the author is a man or a woman. The English tongue is sexless, so use your intuition, chiefly if you want to meet with a man-writer. A scarce, though.

8. Develop your relations very unhurriedly, stay away from bombarding your new acquaintance with more than one mail at a time.

9. Tell about yourself only when asked. Show your likes and dislikes cautiously.

10. You’ll be asked to criticize your friend’s stories. DON’T. Forestall this kind invitation saying that critiques are something you have never been good at.

11. You will also be asked personal questions. Answer shortly, avoid details. Respect you new friend time and patience.

12. Try to know something about your correspondent. We all love being asked about us. Ask only about something directly connected to the subject of her writings or trade.

13. Analyze the development of contacts, experiment with new subjects of your on-line friend’s possible interests. If you feel, that your relations do not have a tendency for progress, it might be wise to eliminate them and see how they will go.

14. The word of warning, if I may. Never use one text of message for a bunch of folks. You will most probably lose them all!

Well, I could have continued with the list of dos and don’ts, but try to find your way in it.

Instead of the Resume.
From my personal experience, I must confess that the Internet has been quite merciful to me, sending interesting, full of positive emotions people.
With them we exchange regularly e-mails, usual letters with photos and souvenirs.
One German guy with his family even came to me in Prague last year.

Keeping and developing good relations on the Internet demands your time, the most valuable we all have.
Invest yourself in your invisible Internet friendship and your life will always be full of joy and gladness.

Where To Make Friends

Where To Make Friends
Part One

By George Rusky
December 2004

Making friends today is getting more difficult than ever before.
I’ve asked tens of my clients how and especially when they had made friends. From all my respondents about 70 % found their classmates at a basic school
About 11% agreed and added high schoolmates and university mates.
The next making friend institution was work, clubs, common trips, recreation activities, and the like.

This quick and amateurish survey won’t hold any serious critic, but even done un-professionally, it gives a general overview of making friends.
Indeed, as we come back to the days of our childhood, we can agree, that the whole process of forming our buddies, even though based on likeness, was not at all complex.
Try to remember your first day at school. Wasn’t that the same?

I went to school at times when learners had to share a desk. I, for one, wanted to sit next to a boy and all I did, just asked him to join me at a desk. That simple.
Even then, we boys of six had their childish preferences.
After a while, some of the initial making friend’s steps had been remained and strengthened, while others went through some changes.

The end of the process of forming and developing close relations can be considered the graduation from the school. I believe that this period is the one that really makes friendship strong and long- living.
I’ve even met a couple of former classmates who then got married.

My respondents agreed that university studies didn’t bring a lot of chances to make new friends.
Why?
Most probably, there’s not much to draw students together.
Lectures? Hardly so. Big auditorium, voluntarily attendance, individual tests.
Students have few chances to meet and become friends. Agree?

Work. Nice place to make friends. Right?
Well, yes and no. First of all, who with?
The one who occupies the same position as you? Possible.
Don’t forget, however, that in this competitive world everyone has an chance for a promotion, which might destroy good terms.
Your superior? Good, if only she doesn’t thing you want to ‘dig a hole for her’
and overtake her position.
Your subordinate? If you don’t yourself think of losing your chair.
Someone from another company, operating on the market in the same industry?
Forget it! You’ll be immediately calculated as a potential commercial secrets deliverer.

So, what?
If someone had to move to explore new territories, and left all his ‘old guard’ at home, is she doomed?
Almost so. Yet, there’s a slight ray of hope.
Consider these places where it is still possible to gain some acquaintances with the hope that they may become your friends.

1. Clubs.
This is where birds of the feather rub shoulders. Membership gives you, sort of guarantee that you may meet the one you’ve been looking for.

2. Education centers for learning new skills: language courses, writing courses, mountain climbing training, playing games and other activities where folks of similar interests go.

3. Church is another great place to meet nice people. In many congregations church-goers dine together, organize trips, visit exhibitions, discuss various life problems.

4. Dating agencies. I, personally, dislike this way of meeting new people and have no experience of that kind, but it looks these businesses are getting quite popular.

5. If you live abroad, cafés, restaurants run by your compatriots where English is spoken. Places full of potential, with lots of openings to meet someone.

6. Our list of making friends ‘establishments’ will definitely not be complete, if we pay no attention to the Internet, this ‘Monster’ of knowing all.

But, this is a topic of our next talk. Let’s call it:”How To Make Friends On The Internet?”
So, till tomorrow!
Oh, I‘ve nearly forgotten. Think of your experience with making friends on the Internet, prepare notes, and tomorrow, while reading my article, just tick the same or similar points and add mine, if you like them, O.K.?