Lesson One 
Part Four
CONDEMNATION
Anger - is not only rejection of the situation. It also includes a conviction. When our children misbehave, we quickly move on from the "This can't be left so!" To "They're horrible children!"
For example, if we are angry at the child, that does not come when we call him, we are not only upset.
We do condemn and criticize the child for having called our concern. We may think:
"He heard me, and knew he had to come, why did not? Obviously, he does not want to listen. He's just bad! "Ascribing evil motives of the child, we are beginning to see the bad of him. Our anger is enhanced if we believe that our baby was acting so on purpose to annoy us, or that he can behave well if he wants to.
We are not always aware of the negative judgments that are the underlying reason of our anger. But when we recall all that we thought at the time, we can detect it. For example, if a child talks to us disrespectfully, we may think: "How dare he speak to me like that!" And although there are not expressed a negative assessment of the child, it is invisibly present. To reveal it, simply ask yourself, "Who is he to talk to me like that? (Bad boy!) ". And then, if we think, "He must not talk to me like that!" - Then you can continue the course of his thoughts: "And as he does so, he ... (terrible child!)". We do not want to admit it, but the reasoning is always such.
Annoyance and irritation cause the same negative judgments, but in a milder form. Evaluation is the same, but it is not as pronounced. If we take a scale from 1 to 10, it would place anger depending on the intensity range between 6 and 10, and irritation - 1-2 to 5-6.
In frustration we speak harsh tone. And if the child is adhering to his brother or sister, we say to him:
"Leave him alone!" Or she ignores the request to remove the plates from the table, "I think I told you to clear the table!" There are parents who have resorted to sarcasm irritation. Seeing that the child has a cup on the table, they are mocking note:
"I see you do not calm down until it is broken!"
Since the negative judgment during stimulation softer than in anger, it is more difficult to detect.
       UNBEARABLE  DISAPPOINTMENT AND LOW THRESHOLD RESTRAINT
Parents who are often irritated by children can suffer from low threshold restraint. And the reason for this in the belief that they are unable to bear the pain, inconvenience or frustration.
Parents with such a complex demand that their life has always been easy and comfortable, and they never had to suffer and worry. But the children in the process of growth endlessly bring troubles. They deprive us of sleep, they bind us to the house, they force us to do more work, they are a financial burden for us, and as they all have their own opinions, they often act differently.
And although we often would like to keep things differently, we can be quite happy if we learn to take the worries and frustration calmly. If wiping the floor from spilled milk by the child, we think, "What a terrible mess I have to clean up. This is terrible. I do not have to work so hard, "that in this case we can not get mad at what happened to the child, and that forced us to do all this extra work."
Thus, it is our claim that the situations that cause anxiety and frustration, do not exist, generates our anger. We continue to insist that everything is different, bearing in mind that: "Everything has to be the way I want, otherwise I just can not stand!" By themselves, the circumstances, which may cause annoyance or disturbance do not entail anger, if we do not say: "This terrible anxiety should not be."
Basically, for anger is the belief: "I want to have, it should be what I want." And if we do not get what we want, we are disappointed. Anger arises from the thought: "I can not bear that my desires are not  fulfilled!" So we fall into a rage when we insist that all must be quiet and that is the children who make the noise, or when we demand that children are well-behaved, and they are rude and unruly.
                                                                                                                               TBC

Learn to control your emotions.

Lesson One.Learn to Control your Emotions.
Part Three. 
Intolerance and impatience

                 Although such claims stand behind anger, they are not its direct cause. When we are angry, we do not just think that our kids do not behave the way we want it. We'll tell ourselves that it is "terrible" and that "we can not leave it like that." We demand our children to come immediately when we call them, and we cant stand when they do not do so. Or we want them to help us eagerly and happily, considering their displeasure in such a situation totally unacceptable. Seeing their faces we get angry immediately.                                                                   The mother who sees her children fight, think: "They shouldn't fight that much," still perceive their encounter as unpleasant, but normal aspect of the relationship, and therefore this mother would not be so upset, as the other, who takes it as something "terrible "or" intolerable "*.    
                  Do not confuse these expressions with the statement that they represent. Not only the words reveal our true point of view and determine our innermost feelings. For example, we can say "badly" or "intolerable", simply stating that the situation is unpleasant. Said with a sigh, "I can not stand this fight", does not mean they are absolutely unacceptable. But if we are furiously shouted: "I ​​can not stand these fights" - that anyone can say that this is what we have in mind. Or we can say, "I do not like the look of this room!" Expressing deep aversion. But those same words in a different tone, can express a very different idea.                                                 
                  Thus, the mode of expression, the way we talk, sometimes reveals our true feelings more than the words themselves.

                                                                                                   TBC

What makes us fall into a rage?

Lesson One. Learn to control your emotions.
Part Two

What makes us fall into a rage?
Irritability, anger - one of the major issues for all parents and all but the most destructive force in the family. "Irritability in the house - the Talmud says, - like worms in the grain," it leads to complete decomposition. "All kinds of hell ruled by a man who is constantly angry," Most people easily coming out of himself, aware of detrimental effects of his anger and the humiliating position in which they put it themselves. But for the most part, they are absolutely helpless and there's nothing to do about it not because they do not understand the reasons for their anger.
               Outbreaks of anger, it is usually worth the belief that life must go on in the way we want. The Talmud speaks of anger as a "false god within." This "god" decides how it should be. And when people or situations become contrary to a man-made course of events, his dreams, ideas and aspirations, his hopes, expectations, orders, guidelines, requirements, rendering its decision, they burst into an angry condemnation. Maybe it meant the wise saying, "man of great wrath is like an idolater."
                  Our subconscious requirement that all happened in exactly the way we want it, causes our anger towards children. For example, women often get angry and yell when the kids leave the room unmade. But the mother's anger is not the disorder in the children's room, but what the mother says about it to herself. If she thinks: "What a mess! I would like the children do not leave the room in such a state, when they leave, "- then her emotional reaction to the mess will be gentle. She will not feel happy, but not necessarily strongly angry.  A wicked mother is more likely to say to yourself, "I've never seen such a wild mess! Why are my children are horrible sluts! Why are they not able to maintain order in their room! " For this perturbation is categorical demand:" My children are required to maintain order in the room! " We are not always aware of this requirement, but nonetheless, it is always present.
                   "What's wrong with that?", can anyone ask. Eventually accuracy - a very important quality, parents should try to teach their children. The problem is that if we are angry, the requirement of perfection is central to our words. Really, at this time we declare: "My children always have to be such as I want!" This requirement is unrealistic and irrational. Intention to teach children to be exact - worthy of praise, but our anger is antagonistic to education of this good quality in our children.
                                                                      TBC

Education of Children. Based on the Materials by Miriam Levi

Dear Friends
Working with my adult students, I often hear their concerns about children education.
I am a good listener and always want to help as much as I can, but even though my wife and I have brought up two sons, I do not feel qualified enough for giving good advice and solid recommendations to my listeners in the area of children education.
As it happens to me in such instances, I addressed to the wisest of this world -Jewish men and women and found these great materials written by Miriam Levi.
 I immediately accepted these instructions with no doubts and felt obliged to share these great ideas  with you, my dear readers so that you could enjoy the treasures of these methods and approaches and use them in your hard process of education of your kids.
Good luck!
George Rusky

 Lesson One: Learn to control your emotions.

The hardest thing for parents in the education of children - to deal with their own emotions. "What can I do? - Said one of the mothers. -I know I should not be angry, but when my kids start fighting, I'm just losing my mind, I do not remember myself and before will understand what I'm doing is yelling and swearing. " Here are the words of another mother, "When I was tearing at my children, I feel so guilty that later, trying to get along with them,I start them all over indulge. "Educators understand that this expression of feelings - wrong response to children. And if we want to be parents, who operate effectively and successfully manage their duties, we must learn to control your feelings. And if we do not find a way to solve this problem, we would have to conduct endless struggle of attrition, to keep their feelings in check. And it will be very difficult to achieve in the education of the goals that we set ourselves.        

Where do all these turbulent emotions come from? People often say, 

"I went crazy on this" or "Oh, I made me feel so guilty," -

 as if external events generate our emotions. But in terms of cognitive (rational) approach and modern knowledge, we are producing our feelings together with interpretations that give us all out. In other words, our emotions are not caused by external circumstances. On the contrary, most of our senses are defined by what we say to ourselves in our thoughts. 

                       So, we feel what we think

According to this theory, our thinking - the kind of inner speech, a special conversation with ourselves. Sometimes we are aware of these internal dialogues, and sometimes they go unconscious, so quickly and subtly that we can not see them. But we know very well the feelings and actions are born out of these conversations in our minds. We can train yourself to identify upsets us the thoughts that make us go out of ourselves and lead us to failure. We can find out those beliefs and expectations on which they are based, and gradually change them. This will lead to a less stressful, more balanced emotional state. When we learn to control and prevent the feelings that lead to inexplicable defensive reaction, self-defense (rapidly turning into aggression against the one in whom we see a threat and danger to us, for the state in which we prefer to stay), we can create steady habits. And when we learn to control their feelings, we will be able to better cope with the problems of education.

            In this article, we will focus on two of the most destructive and dangerous feelings that arise for parents when they are dealing with children. This are anger and guilt.

                                                             TBC