Wednesday, April 03, 2013

What makes us fall into a rage?

Lesson One. Learn to control your emotions.
Part Two

What makes us fall into a rage?
Irritability, anger - one of the major issues for all parents and all but the most destructive force in the family. "Irritability in the house - the Talmud says, - like worms in the grain," it leads to complete decomposition. "All kinds of hell ruled by a man who is constantly angry," Most people easily coming out of himself, aware of detrimental effects of his anger and the humiliating position in which they put it themselves. But for the most part, they are absolutely helpless and there's nothing to do about it not because they do not understand the reasons for their anger.
               Outbreaks of anger, it is usually worth the belief that life must go on in the way we want. The Talmud speaks of anger as a "false god within." This "god" decides how it should be. And when people or situations become contrary to a man-made course of events, his dreams, ideas and aspirations, his hopes, expectations, orders, guidelines, requirements, rendering its decision, they burst into an angry condemnation. Maybe it meant the wise saying, "man of great wrath is like an idolater."
                  Our subconscious requirement that all happened in exactly the way we want it, causes our anger towards children. For example, women often get angry and yell when the kids leave the room unmade. But the mother's anger is not the disorder in the children's room, but what the mother says about it to herself. If she thinks: "What a mess! I would like the children do not leave the room in such a state, when they leave, "- then her emotional reaction to the mess will be gentle. She will not feel happy, but not necessarily strongly angry.  A wicked mother is more likely to say to yourself, "I've never seen such a wild mess! Why are my children are horrible sluts! Why are they not able to maintain order in their room! " For this perturbation is categorical demand:" My children are required to maintain order in the room! " We are not always aware of this requirement, but nonetheless, it is always present.
                   "What's wrong with that?", can anyone ask. Eventually accuracy - a very important quality, parents should try to teach their children. The problem is that if we are angry, the requirement of perfection is central to our words. Really, at this time we declare: "My children always have to be such as I want!" This requirement is unrealistic and irrational. Intention to teach children to be exact - worthy of praise, but our anger is antagonistic to education of this good quality in our children.
                                                                      TBC

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