How to Become a Good Listener. Five Rules.

How to Become a Good Listener.
Listening is an active process. Here are some rules how you can become a better listener.
Rule number One.
Ask questions. Be the master of asking questions.
And never say you are asking because you are curious as the majority of my
conversationalists do.
Ask questions because you want to find out what your potential client wishes
to hear.
       Develop your art of asking good, well formed questions that will lead
you in the direction you want and at the same time, help people to express
themselves.
The best questions are the ones I call ‘wh’ questions: what, why, when,
where, who…”
In short the questions that need more than just:’ yes-no’ answers.
So, become a master of asking questions.

Rule number Two.
"Don’t interrupt"
How often we hear this: "Don’t interrupt, let me finish…"
It’s impolite in everyday, casual talks, it’s a ‘must not’ in business talks.
Do not interrupt a potential client, let her dominate the talk!
Go on with the conversationalist with nodding, showing your interest in any
ways you can think of trying occasionally direct smoothly the talk to the
destination you plan.

Rule number Three.
Define the key points of the story you hear.While listening, define what the biggest concern of your conversationalist and re-ask her what she has said, but say that in your own words.
It’s a very powerful tool of listening that shows better than anything else that you are
interested in what you hear.
Use the following short questions:

1. "If I understood you correctly, you…?"
2. 2. "Let me check whether I understood well what you have said…?" 
3. "Do you mean to say that…?"
4. "Or, the favorite question of Brian Tracy:  “How do you mean it?"

When you repeat the information correctly, the other person will be pleased
with her ability to explain and your skill of understanding all in the way that
it had been said.

Rule number Four.  Hold on!
Whenever you feel like adding something or trying to encourage your fellow
speakers, resist the temptation to do so. I have noticed that very often
instead of helping them to move on in the direction we want, they ‘jump’ into
another topic or just endlessly try to explain their point differently and fail to
find the right words and examples for it.
Be careful with providing this kind of support.

 Rule number Five.
Practice the three above described rules.
Yes, exactly so: "Take action!"
It’s never enough to be familiar with what should be done and how it must
be done. The crucial element of any activity is DOING.
Armed with the best possible knowledge of any existing subject, a man will
never become wealthy if he only enjoys his profound knowledge.
He must sell his knowledge, exchange his knowledge for another product.
So, take action!

George Rusky
Georgerusky.net