How to Become a Good Listener.

How to Become a Good Listener. 
One.

Before you begin a good listener, you should become a good Reader!
Another paradox? Come on George!
I feel you are getting angry with me and, the way the report is made makes
you nervous.
But, listen to this!
Trust me, I am serious.
In order to listen to a person worth listening, you have to READ as much as
you can about this person!
Agree?
        Listening is also the process of investing your precious time and surely
you must know that you invest your time wisely and effectively. So, go to the
website and read all you can about the one who offers you to listen to him.
       Being a good listener does not mean only having ears and mind open
toward the information, but know exactly that what you are looking for and
forward you will read in testimonials  of other customers.
Actually, I have built my list of who I listen to regularly.
       If you want to know the giants of Public Speaking industry, send me a
message and I will send you my list, it’s not that long.
       By the way, how often do you hear these questions?“How can you listen to this rubbish?”
“I don’t want to hear this BS”
“All I have heard was a complete waste of time…”
          And here goes the resume: Collect information about who you want to
listen to if you really want to be a good listener. A good listener listens to
wise people and valuable information.
NB: don’t listen to your closest who recommends you to listen to someone.
Try to read about the candidate and make your own opinion about this
concrete person.

How to Become a Good Listener. Two.
          Now let’s define concrete steps of getting a better speaker thru
listening to what others wish to hear from you.

Rule number One. Don’t expect anyone to tell you what they want to
hear from you.
I have noticed in some situations people don’t really know what they want!
Help them: ask questions. Be the master of asking questions.
And never say you are asking because you are curious as the majority of my
conversationalists do.
Ask questions because you want to find out what your potential client wishes
to hear.
       Develop your art of asking good, well formed questions that will lead
you in the direction you want and at the same time, help people to express
themselves.
The best questions are the ones I call ‘wh’ questions: what, why, when,
where, who…”
In short the questions that need more than just:’ yes-no’ answers.
So, become a master of asking questions.

Rule number Two. ‘Don’t interrupt’
How often we hear this:” Don’t interrupt, let me finish…”
It’s impolite in everyday, casual talks, it’s a ‘must not’ in business talks.
Do not interrupt a potential client, let her dominate the talk!
Go on with the conversationalist with nodding, showing your interest in any
ways you can think of trying occasionally direct smoothly the talk to the
destination you plan.

Rule number Three. Define the key points of the story you hear.While listening, define what the biggest concern of your conversationalist and
re-ask her what she has said, but say that in your own words. It’s a very
powerful tool of listening that shows better than anything else that you are
interested in what you hear.
Use the following short questions:
1. ” If I understood you correctly, you…?”
2. “Let me check whether I understood well what you have said…?”
3. “Do you mean to say that…?”
4. Or, the favorite question of Brian Tracy:  “How do you mean it?”
When you repeat the information correctly, the other person will be pleased
with her ability to explain and your skill of understanding all in the way that
it had been said.

Rule number Four. Hold on!
Whenever you feel like adding something or trying to encourage your fellow
speakers, resist the temptation to do so. I have noticed that very often
instead of helping them to move on in the direction we want, they ‘jump’ into
another topic or just endlessly try to explain their point differently and fail to
find the right words and examples for it.
Be careful with providing this kind of support
.
 Rule number Five. Practice the three above described rules.
Yes, exactly so: “Take action!”
It’s never enough to be familiar with what should be done and how it must
be done. The crucial element of any activity is DOING.
Armed with the best possible knowledge of any existing subject, a man will
never become wealthy if he only enjoys his profound knowledge.
He must sell his knowledge, exchange his knowledge for another product.
So, take action!
George Rusky
www.georgerusky.net